EVEN GOD RESTED
I took this picture the other night during a full moon extravaganza called a Snow Moon. It was spectacular. I enjoy God's creation so much. It's not that I enjoy His creation in itself but I am so in awe of Him in His creation. His creative beauty is absolutely mind-boggling. Everything He created was created for us to enjoy. I started thinking...Even God rested after all his work was finished! Genesis 2 ... so on the seventh day He rested from all his work.
What I wish I had of done differently, This is my journey:
Day (1) Gotten to know myself:
Gotten to know the unique, one-of-a-kind, creation that I am. Who did God create this woman to be? How do I do that? Only through spending time with God in prayer, meditation (listening), and soaking in His Word, would I ever know. If I don't know who I am in Him it will be extremely hard for me to be who I am suppose to be for anyone else.
Day (2) Learned To Love Myself:
I know that getting to know yourself and learning to love yourself are very similar but yet very different too. I wanted to separate them because they are each so very important.
There are a lot of things about me that I haven't loved. I remember looking at other people and saying, "I want to look like them" or "I want their life." I was really unhappy for a long time. You can put on a pretty smile and feel miserable on the inside.
I had received Jesus as my Lord and Savior but I wanted a deeper walk with Him. I still had a lot of questions, hurts, and pain in my life. I started searching for God. As is so beautifully depicted in the second chapter of Song of Solomon, "Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, come away with me." I was recently divorced, so I made dates with Him instead of dating the world. I listened to music with lyrics that told me how much He loved me. I dimmed the room and lit candles. And we danced. My beloved and I. It wasn't a seance. His presence filled my room. He changed me. No one else can do that. Jeremiah 29:13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with your whole heart. I found Him there. He told me how much he loved me and how pleased He was with me. There was nothing that I could ever do that would cause Him to turn his face from me. You know what? I believed Him. I still do! I realized that if He loved me that much then I must be a pretty neat person.
I realized that I cannot compare my life to anyone else's life. My life is as unique as I am. My relationship with my Lord and Savior is as unique as I am.
Day (3) Stopped Trying So Hard to Please Others
Growing up, my sister and I were in the limelight a lot. Both parents were teachers so we were used to set an example, whether spoken or not. Daddy even became our principal. It wasn't our parents fault, really, it just came with the territory. Then,we both became teachers ourselves. Still in the public eye!
I've always felt like people were watching me so I had to "perform" a certain way; doing so often what I thought they wanted me to do or possibly what I thought they wanted me to say. Realizing now that I have given way too much of myself away to other people that didn't really care that much about me anyway. Not being my authentic self has costed me a lot of precious time and energy. My authenticity doesn't come from anyone else, it only comes from knowing who God created me to be. Point blank. Nothing more and nothing less!
I can rest in knowing that I am enough...Jesus said so!
Day (4) Owned Who I am in Christ Jesus. (Own means to possess, concede, acknowledge, admit.)
Growing up I wasn't afraid to and enjoyed every minute of performing in front of people. I loved it. I once sang at the PTA meeting and another time I sang and played guitar (or pretended to play) at another school function. I sang specials in the church I grew up in. Did I have a good voice? No. I ran for a state office in high school giving a speech in front of hundreds of students. I won. I was a cheerleader from middle school until I graduated from high school. I loved getting the crowd motivated. People told me often what a good cheerleader I was. Even in my own family, when I could be the center of attention, when all eyes were on me, and I could make everyone laugh... I loved it. I had a certain charisma that entertained people and they enjoyed watching me. It was a God given gift.
After all these years, it is still a God given gift.
I have charisma. I'm passionate. I am creative. I like detail. I sometimes see things a little different than others see it. I think outside of the box. I have discernment. I am constantly thinking, analyzing, or planning. As you can tell, I love to write; stories, songs, poems, logs, whatever. I enjoy the thought process of writing as much as I actually enjoy writing. It's who I am. I own it!
I'm a teacher. I loved teaching children as a profession and I still love teaching. I enjoy teaching anyone that will listen to me. I teach through life experiences. God given experiences. I own it. That is who I am.
I am a worshiper. My greatest joy comes in worshiping my Father God. Just He and I. When He was first teaching me how much He loved our time together and that He loved extravagant worship to Him, I would go to the church I was attending, by myself. I prayed, sang, waved flags, danced, knelt, cried, laughed, poured my heart out to him, and laid prostrate on the floor. Each time was different. Each time was joyous. I love worshiping Him with extravagant worship! That is who I am.
I'm relational. Time spent with others is a wonderful thing. Whether it be over a cup of coffee or around a campfire. I enjoy being with family and friends and talking about the goodness of the Lord. It is such a pleasure being with people that make you laugh, think, make you want to be a better person. When I understood that I could have a relationship with my Lord and Savior; sing to Him, walk with Him, talk to Him, enjoy and feel His presence in my every day life, (have a cup of coffee with Him), then my life started falling into place. He is relational! And wants a relationship with me. That is who He is.
Day (5) Eaten, Exercised, and Enjoyed It:
Growing up I was a picky eater and mama always said that I ate like a mouse. I often got in trouble for not cleaning my plate. Well, everyone knows in the south that it is a disgrace to the cook if you don't clean your plate. I ate a lot of candy growing up. So that is probably why I didn't eat much. My upbringing was always centered around food...good food...fattening food. My family has a heritage of great cooks. Great southern cooks. Great southern food; fried chicken, turnips, dumplings, cornbread...must I say more?
I was an active child and teenager, but through the years, exercise fell by the wayside. So needless to say, I have had and still do have mindsets about food and exercise that need some tweaking.
I had to start somewhere so I started with what I enjoy the most. I absolutely love to walk. I enjoy walking on the beach, walking on the sidewalk in town, or walking down a dirt road in the woods. Just walk! It is so much fun that I don't even realize I'm exercising. It is a great time to spend talking to God, listening to music, watching the birds, looking at God's beauty. It is mood changing. It is rejuvenating.
I'm realizing that food is not my enemy! My attitude about it is! So, I'm learning to fight smarter not harder. I plan what I am going to eat and try to prepare it ahead of time. I eat before I feel starved. In that way, hopefully I won't over eat. I aim for colorful vegetables and fruit and stay away from vegetables that are high in carbohydrates. If I am going to do this for the rest of my life then I need to enjoy what I eat. I'm not depriving my body of anything. (If I want a piece of pie then I eat it.) I like to experiment with food and cook creatively. In that way I don't get in a rut and bored with eating the same "ole" things. I have to remember; this is a lifestyle and it's for as long as I live.
After my walk this morning, I drank a large glass of lemon water. After a few exercises, I sliced a delicious red apple and smeared peanut butter on it. Yummy! I chewed it slowly and enjoyed it.
Trying always to be mindful of why I take care of my body I read in Corinthians,
Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. I Corinthians 6: 19-20
Day (6) Cared About and Served Others (more than my own desires)
I purposefully saved this for last. We can base everything on two commandments; love the Lord my God with all my heart and love others as I love myself (my version of Luke 10:27).
If I hadn't understood day 1-5, then I might possibly want to help others just to make my flesh feel good and possibly become co-dependent on others. I want to give because I have so graciously been given. Jesus has not withheld from me...ever. He gave His very life for me.
For way too many years I had my eyes on my own struggles and with my own wants and needs. Even with my husband and children, I so often thought about my own selfish needs. If I had of served them with grace and love, then things would have been different in our home. Even making sure that they had the best of everything they needed physically was a substitute for truly serving them.
There were many years that I just didn't have a love for humanity, like I should have, either. My hurts and struggles seemed to be bigger than theirs. God is faithful to teach us if we are willing to listen, so He opened my eyes and heart when he gave me my first grandchild and he was bi-racial. I was forced to examine my own heart. It was not very pretty either. I realized that I didn't have the love for people different than me (not just race but economic status, religion, philosophy, and culture) that I needed to have to serve them. All those biases had to go. Thank you Father that you loved me enough to show me.
Father God, my prayer is to love and serve my husband in a way that brings you glory. Help me to love our children and grandchildren and show them a life full of grace so that they in turn can understand grace and mercy in their own lives, and extend it to others. Show me where I can extend grace and mercy rather than judgement in a world that does not understand your ways. Open my eyes Lord. Help me to serve others in the uniqueness of who I am... in a way that helps them to see you.
Day (7) God Rested...and I will too
Thank you Father that you have shown me who I am in you and I can enjoy who I am. I have forgiven myself because you have forgiven me. I like myself...I realize I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I don't have to please everyone, just you. I don't have to have someone else around me at all times... I can enjoy our time together...just you and me. Thank you that you have taught me who you are out of the unique situations in my life. I realize that I am special and that you have given me unique gifts that might help someone else. You are a relational God. Thank you that you are teaching me to serve others through relationship. Thank you for teaching me each day how to have a Godly relationship with my husband, my family, and others that you have put in my life.... because of who you are and what you have done for me, I can totally rest in you and enjoy this journey that I am on.
Thank you for all you have done and are still doing...I love you,
Sammie Jean
You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. Isaiah 26:3 NIV
